“You have not given me into the hands of the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.” (Psalm‬ ‭31:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

Yesterday, we finally, firmly set our feet in a spacious place. A team of doctors turned on Chris’s deep brain stimulator and his tremor stilled. His voice and inflection returned. He brushed his own teeth and held and drank his own coffee without spilling a drop. We high-fived like when we were kids. He spoke and gestured wildly again. Every new discovery brought fresh tears and prolific praise.

All through the day, we kept talking about what God was doing on his behalf. We realized how amazing it is that he lived through the initial fire, the ten week coma and two code blues. We acknowledge how frustrating it was to wake up to life without the use of voice, arms, or legs. We lamented the more than two full years he spent tremoring. And we kept rejoicing at the miracle of restoration he is enjoying now. Yesterday, he told me how it was all worth it. He will never again take the use of his hands for granted.

We have finally gotten to a place where my brother believes, with every fiber of his being, that God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

That is huge.

The reality it suggests is uncomfortable.

I have adopted this belief that the God of the universe is far more concerned with the condition of our soul than the condition of our skin. I keep thinking back to Chris’s long stint in ICU and how my husband and I drove up from Texas to anoint and lay hands on a mostly-dead brother. That day, I begged God to heal him from the inside out. Now I can see how God is answering that prayer, slowly and steadily. He’s healing Chris is a way that will stick for eternity. He’s healing him soul, mind and now body.

And all the while, I get to sit on the sidelines and cheer for the slow-moving miracle.

Sunday morning, I decided that there was no place I’d rather be. I went forward during worship, knelt at the altar and proclaimed in prayer; “If this is Your will for me than this is where I want to be!” After I’d made my peace I opened my eyes to find my big brother, kneeling beside me.

We have stepped into a spacious place, together. And we are pouring forth the praises of God with every footfall. Today, will you join us?

“When you finally settle in the land I am giving you, you will offer special gifts as a pleasing aroma to the Lord.” (Numbers‬ ‭15:2-3‬ ‭NLT)

“We are standing on the precipice.” My big brother said it Sunday night, twelve hours before surgery. We were gathering the last bit of momentum before we grabbed hands made the giant leap of faith together. Today we turn on the deep brain stimulation device and we’ll see what the Lord has done.

I can’t help but feel that we are like the Israelites at the border of the Promised Land, ready to set feet finally, firmly in a spacious place. Not in Numbers 15, in defiance, but the second time around, after forty years in the desert. It’s interesting that God gives them instructions for forty years in the future.

Today I read that and I realize my own need to stand at the border and praise God. I’ve spent some time looking back at all the wilderness we’ve traversed in the past ten months; mountains more than deserts. But I can’t help but feel like we’ve finally gotten the foothills, and the green valley is stretching out below; beckoning, welcoming.

I won’t take one step forward without pausing to praise. I want to build an altar in my mind and declare this space, the last few yards before we enter God’s sweet spot, sacred. I want to look back and recall all the ways He’s been faithful in the darkest, longest season of our lives. I want to remember the manna still stuck in my teeth, He has sustained us every labored step of our way. I want the miracle to stick, so I am stopping to give God glory!

We are like the Israelites. Thousands of years have not changed the human heart. We are quick to complain. We are quick to question. We are even quick to disobey. When will we learn to be quick to praise? To easily and readily offer a thank offering? To recognize the incredible provision and faithfulness of our good Father?

“Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name.” (Hebrews‬ ‭13:15‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Lord, we stand here at the boundary line and give You praise. You are good. You are faithful. You are enough. Your plans are good and Your ways are perfect. Keep us from complaint and tie up our tongues in praise. May we never pass by this place again without remembering what You have done here today. Amen.

Love and Forgiveness

“Please, Lord, prove that your power is as great as you have claimed. For you said, ‘The Lord is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion.’” (Numbers‬ ‭14:17-18‬ ‭NLT)

A couple of interesting things are happening in this text. The spies have returned from their Canaan operative and eight of them have issued a bad report. It appears that the Promised Land is currently inhabited and the Israelites will need to trust God for supernatural intervention if they are to possess it. The people hear the report and tailspin. They respond as if they have never seen God move; weeping, carrying on all night until they plot an insurrection and a stoning.

God had enough. His people kept losing sight of His past performance record and He was sick of it. He was ready to wipe these whining, miserable people off the face of the earth like we might clean a crumby countertop. He was ready to start from scratch with Moses.

“I will disown them and destroy them with a plague. Then I will make you into a nation greater and mightier than they are!” (Numbers‬ ‭14:12‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Here we have a classic case of good parent, bad parent. Moses, at this particular moment in history, is unwilling to give up on the kids. There are other moments in the wildness where Moses is the mad parent, ready for destruction. When we consider this connection, we are reminded of the incredible friendship Moses shared with God. This level of intimacy with the divine was previously unheard of.

“Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.” (Exodus‬ ‭33:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

We sang about it in church yesterday; “I am a friend of God” and I am realizing how Moses’ friendship with God paved the way for our own friendships with God. It was with Moses that God seemed to realize how sweet His post-fall interaction with man might be. Moses knew God’s heart so well that when God was too angry to see straight, Moses reminded Him of His divine character.

Isn’t that how CS Lewis defined friendship?

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you’ve forgotten the words.”

Moses was God’s friend. And he wasn’t afraid to hold his Friend to His Word. He reminded God that love and forgiveness were the most powerful entities we can wield.

When we are mad, when we are hurt and ready to lash out in anger, isn’t that what we need to hear most? Love and forgiveness are the mightiest weapons in this world. Nuclear power cannot compare to a heart humbled and offered to an enemy. We can change the course of history when we can figure out how to love and forgive in the midst of anger and hurt.

My big brother is on my mind this morning. He’s getting ready to wheel back for brain surgery. He’s lived with us for almost a year now. A terrible fire left him totally reliant on others; severe tremors rack his body every waking moment. The neurosurgeon who will place electrodes deep in his brain noted his chart: ”Mr. Klapp and his sister enjoy a warm relationship.”

I read that and I saw firsthand the world-rocking power of love and forgiveness typed out in black and white print. Chris and I have not always been close. In fact, growing up I preferred to stay as far away from him as possible because he was so cruel to me. But a couple of decades ago at a youth leaders retreat the Lord asked me to forgive him and I did. Ten years after that, the Lord asked me to love him and because of the divine love and forgiveness I have enjoyed so freely, I obliged. Look what the Lord has done in our lives since!

Love and forgiveness are the two most powerful forces in the universe and when we wield them we align our hearts and minds with God’s heart and mind. Crazy Kingdom things happen and He gets the glory.

Moses somehow inherently knew this and when God got angry, he sang Him back His own song. Can we sing along today? Can we love and forgive the folks that raise our blood pressure and curl our fists? Can we value the Kingdom over our commitment to being right? In my experience, the hardest thing is usually the rightest thing. And the right thing plus time and perspective winds up being the most satisfying move we can make.

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Dear Lord, we see in scripture just how frustrating humanity can be. And yet You love us. We are thankful for this example with Moses
; the example of Your anger juxtaposed with Your love and forgiveness. We see how tough the struggle is to let people off the hook, and yet You triumphed. So can we. Help us to walk in the understanding that love and forgiveness are the most powerful forces we possess. Amen.

“But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” (Mark‬ ‭14:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

God gives us promises in the light so we can hold on to them in the dark. A couple weeks ago my husband and I met with a very wise woman of God to pray. She urged, “What promises has God given you in the past? Hold on to those.”

We’ve got to remember what God said when the lights go out.

Did the disciples? I mean, this was the Last Supper and Jesus was issuing instructions and hope, but were they listening? Would they remember His words when the cross completely obstructed their view of their Teacher? It doesn’t seem so. But when the promises unfurled over their life again, their faith was bolstered.

The sooner we learn to live confident of God’s promises, the better. The disciples belief was reinforced post-cross and their ministry multiplied post-Pentecost. What might it take to reinforce and multiply us?

When we begin to wonder about God’s faithfulness we need to remember His cross.

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans‬ ‭8:32‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

If God was going to backtrack on a promise, wouldn’t the cross be the one to reconsider?

Yet, Jesus was faithful unto death, faithful all the way through resurrection and still today. We can trust Him with lesser things. Everything is lesser than the cross. Jesus has already addressed our most pressing issue. Everything else is small potatoes.

The thing is, it’s so hard to hear God’s promises over the rush of grief and worry in our own heads. Beloved, that’s when we need to hear them the most. His promises are our lifelines; we’ve got to grab on and refuse to let go. When we do, He carefully, faithfully tugs us to the other side.

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” (Psalm‬ ‭119:50‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

Lord, please help us hear and treasure Your promises in the light, so we can hang on to them in the dark. We see how You spoke to Your disciples pre-cross. You issued instructions and hope for the hard days that would follow. We realize You speak to us pre-pain; You hand us the lifeline for the tough times that follow. We remember that You have already addressed our biggest problem. We can trust You for the lesser stuff. Help us hear You today and still remember Your words when tomorrow comes. Amen.